While in western Michigan recently, my 6+ year old bulldog decided he wanted to go snowboarding. The following video clip was not doctored in any way. Nor was he asked to do any of this - he just took the sledding disk and away he went.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
A quick search on the web turns up some weird Christmas images
Just got out the annual newsletter/holiday card. While the lucky card recipients will wonder where the heck I got the images I used in the card, you should have seen some of the images that did not make the final cut. Below is a very small sample of the stuff I didn't use:
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Minnesota Vikings Fan Jokebook
One of my friends' dad is a big Vikings fan. He both loves and hates them. Below are jokes he sent to me recently.
Xcel Energy, the folks who provide natural gas to many Minnesota homes, noted today that calls to their leaking gas hot line spiked around 2 p.m. yesterday. All service men who responded to the calls noted that no gas leaks were discovered but the rotten egg smell went away when the home owner was told to turn off the Viking game.
The Minnesota Highway Patrol is cracking down on speeders heading into Minneapolis. For the first offense, they give you 2 Vikings tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Minnesota Vikings
Q. What do the Vikings and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q. How do you keep a Minnesota Viking out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.
Q. What do you call a Minnesota Viking with a Super Bowl ring?
A. An Imposter.
Q. What's the difference between the Minnesota Viking and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q. How many Minnesota Vikings does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody Knows
Q. What do the Vikings and a possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
What's the deal with Tropicana and The Gap?
You have an iconic brand. You have a logo that everyone recognizes - a logo that anyone who doesn't live under a rock knows it when s/he sees it.
The answer to the problem that doesn't exist? Change it. Pronto.
First it was Tropicana. Now it's The Gap. Pray tell, why would you change the logo? If your sales, etc., aren't growing, I am QUITE SURE it has NOTHING to do with the LOGO.
Duh.
The answer to the problem that doesn't exist? Change it. Pronto.
First it was Tropicana. Now it's The Gap. Pray tell, why would you change the logo? If your sales, etc., aren't growing, I am QUITE SURE it has NOTHING to do with the LOGO.
Duh.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
Friday, October 08, 2010
If airlines sold paint
Image via WikipediaI got this via email. Thought I'd share.
IF THE AIRLINES SOLD PAINT
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be kidding!
Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any more $12 paint.
Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have enough.
Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining gallons of paint.
Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint.
Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a liter"
signs?
Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second half-gallon to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans.
Customer: Forget this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from someone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir, that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon.
Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!
Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which you started. A hallway is different.
Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in one direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.
Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on your next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it now, sir.
Customer: You're insane!
Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be kidding!
Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any more $12 paint.
Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have enough.
Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining gallons of paint.
Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint.
Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a liter"
signs?
Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second half-gallon to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans.
Customer: Forget this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from someone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir, that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon.
Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!
Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which you started. A hallway is different.
Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in one direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.
Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on your next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it now, sir.
Customer: You're insane!
Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Hotel California (by The Eagles): located by Google Maps
Cover of Hotel CaliforniaHotel California, the 1975 mega-hit by The Eagles, is supposed to be an imaginary place. Google Maps begs to differ.
Google has the directions to Hotel California
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Playing with the Moon
I got these uncredited photos in my email the other day. These are quite clever and seem to have a lot of thought put into them. (I discovered the artist/photographer is Laurent Lavender.)
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