This year's (2005) Christmas cards

I finally got this year's Christmas cards out ... I was way behind this year. Thank Gawd Columbus has some wacky local scenery ... for those of you who received a card from us, the photo was taken off Riverside Dr in Dubin OH, a NW suburb of Columbus. The statue is supposed to be the head of "OLD LEATHERLIPS" - I kid you not. Click here if you don't believe me.

The story of the demise of Old Leatherlips is rather morbid - if you REALLY want to know, try this link ...

On that happy note, MERRY CHRISTMAS! And feel free to leave a comment or two ...

Extreme weather in central Ohio (or what passes for it)

Well, we got our first significant snowfall of the 2005-06 season this evening. Anywhere from 3-6" are supposed to fall ... which means we'll probably get one or two inches. (The local news tends to yell "The sky is falling!" any time there is a glimpse of snow in the forecast.)

I really don't know what the big deal is - it's just precipitation that's in a slightly frozen form. Woopdee doo.

Getting basic cable

Dammit, the world is ending. I mean, it really looks like I'll be getting cable TV. I know that sounds like "Well crap, welcome to the 20th century" -- but I have never had cable, save for an 18 month period of time in the early 1990s when I had a roomate who insisted on having cable TV. Although it was neat at the time, I've never thought of it as 'required for modern living.'

I don't watch much TV and I don't expect things will change too much. The only thing I look forward to on cable is access to ESPN, an occasional Green Acres re-run on Nick at Night and The Daily Show on Comedy Central. I find everything else I need on local TV (e.g. Seinfeld re-runs, local news, etc.). The main reason to get cable is to improve our reception. In one word - it's crap. With cable, it won't be crap. Or so I certainly hope. Nuff said.

Inconsistency while complaining about the weather

When growing up in southern California, lo these many years ago, I distinctly recall thinking that there were two seasons - i) February and ii) the rest of the year. You see, southern California is pretty dry - and all the rain that falls in SoCal pretty much falls in February. Sure, there are some times where it rains in other parts of the year but it's pretty much concentrated in February.

Anyway, my concept of weather and climate was rather provincial since all I knew was LA weather. I also remember the weather on the local news being very boring - "Well, it's going to be 78 tomorrow, 79 the day after, and 77 the day after that." Of course, I didn't appreciate how good the weather was - it was where I lived and that was that.

Getting back to the topic of local news and the weather - central Ohio is pretty well known in these parts to have weather that is rather schizophrenic, especially in spring and (to a slightly lesser extent) fall. By schizophrenic, I mean that you can go from 81F one day to 62F the next. That's why spring and fall are my favorite seasons around here.

There is a very annoying thing that happens every time it gets warm around here - the talking heads on the news will say something like "When are we going to get relief from the heat?" And of course, when it cools down, they say "When will it warm up again?" Then when it rains, the easy-to-predict comment is "When will we get relief from Mother Nature?" to be followed by (when it's dry, like it was this past summer) "When will we see rain? Any time soon?"

If I had a brick and TVs cost $1 to buy, I'd destroy a TV every time I watch the local news. It is beyond inane.

Hurricane Katrina - soon to be forgotten

Hurricane Katrina has been in the news for quite some time. This is natural and very understandable since this appears to be the worst natural distaster to hit the U.S. ... ever. I won't regurgitate what has already been written but I would like to opine on two items:

1) Why is New Orleans a backwards city? I've always thought that New Orleans should be the defacto capital of 'big oil' for the United States, especially given its geographic monopoly on the majority of oil shipping/refinery lines for the country. Lo and behold, I stumbled across an excellent post by Thomas Lifson. Basically the difference between New Orleans and Houston (the city that became the oil capital of the U.S.) is the difference between an entrepreneurial mindset and one that thrives on (and suffocates from) bureacracy.

2) As much coverage that Katrina is getting, I predict that only one month from now the press coverage will veer from "24/7" to "sometimes and/or rarely mentioned." It never ceases to amaze me that the U.S news media's attention span is typically similar to that of a gnat's.

Whiffleball rules ...

I think we need more whiffleball leagues in this country. For those of you who don't know, whiffleball is as American as apple pie and Chevrolets. In the 1950s, this guy in Connecticut invents a baseball-like game that he can play with his very young son and something that could be played anywhere without fear of breaking windows, etc. After a lot of experimentation, he discovers that the optimal layout and type of holes on a hollow plastic ball are eight oblong shaped holes on one half of the ball's surface. I don't know why but I find this stuff interesting.

Anyway, Helmer has taken to whiffleball quite a bit. He doesn't retrieve nor does he let go of a ball when he brings it to you. However, I learned that if you have three balls in play at one time, he will go after the one you hit ... that leaves you two more to distract him with ... you hit the first ball, he runs to get it, he sees you have another one in your hand, comes running back to you with the original ball in his mouth and drops it when you hit the second ball. This continues until he tires - this usually occurs in 5 to 10 minutes.

Helmer's home for one year

So it was about one year ago to this day that I picked up my then eight week old (English) bulldog. I christened him Helmer. (The name is courtesy of my brother in law who, at the age of four, insisted his soon to be born brother (or sister - they didn't know the gender) be named Helmer. My wife told me this story over ten years ago - Helmer's (the dog) name was picked out even before his parents were born.)

He has turned out to be a real kick in the pants. Bulldogs have a reputation among some circles of being vicious dogs. They tend to be lumped in the same cabal as pit bulls and rottweilers. Nothing can be further from the truth. They're too friendly (Helmer always jumps into strangers' cars). They're crappy watchdogs most of the time. (He has barked at our central air conditioning unit but sleeps soundly when a strange person enters the house (e.g. plumber)). The other day, he heard a strange sound (I think it was someone throwing something into the back of his/her truck), he barked like a tough guy and then ran into the house, straight on to his bed.

He is a strange dude. He loves going for rides in the car. He likes to sit in my lap (he weighs about 50 lbs now) and stare out the driver side window. He loves going to the vet. And, contrary to my educated guess, he likes the water. But he cannot swim worth a damn.

My wife and I sometimes affectionately refer to him as TLB (That Little Bastard) and PITA (Pain In The Ass). We keep him confinedwhen we're out of the house as he is not old enough yet to trust by himself. Need proof?

Helmer, here's to you. As much as you can be a pain in the neck, most of the time you are not. (The photos above is the worst he's ever done and nothing of value was ruined.)

I hope you have a long and healthy life.

I just bought a cell phone. Dammit.

I've been avoiding this like the plague forever and a day. I am constantly irritated by people chattering on their cell phones, speaking in loud voices about absolutely nothing. Conversations like "So what are you doing now? Oh really? I am walking to class. What are you going to do tonight? I think I am going to stay home and watch The OC." And then there are the a-holes at the airport who talk really loud about really specific things about their jobs: "Yes, we need to work that client and get a higher royalty payment. Can you check with Amber and see that we have the TPS report first thing Monday morning? Crap, my flight is boarding so I'll call you when I get into Moline."

What a bunch of useless and nonsensical crap. I don't have a problem with people yacking on their phones- I do have a problem with them making it my business. Hell, I consider this to be "smoking into the airwaves."

Leave me out of it.

Tony Alamo and his stand up act

If you do reprint, please include this copyright and registration:
The Tony Alamo Christian Ministries Worldwide is a division of Music Square Church, Inc.

© Copyright 1984 All rights reserved World Pastor Tony Alamo ® Registered 1984

Well, now that I figured out how to do this stuff - note the publish date is Oct 2003 ... but I *just* posted this about two minutes ago on July 25, 2005.

OK - where to start? A few weeks ago I got something on my car windshield that made me laugh a bit. You see, I got one of those 'come to Jesus' tracts. This one was beyond the pale, however. I noted a lot of anti-Catholic and anti-papal references. There were also allusions to the US Govt being closet Zionists, in league with the Vatican. And some statements implying that the US Govt was a direct puppet and fully under the control of the Vatican. (Don't ask whether this makes any sense - I am just reporting the facts, ma'am.)

Anyway, I scan through the four pages of ranting and raving ... and came to the name of Tony Alamo. The name seemed familiar enough. I did a quick search on the web and it all came back to me. This guy has been around since the 1970s. He made a bundle in the late 70s and early 80s selling these VERY gaudy denim jackets that were very popular with B-list celebrities - as a kid in SoCal during the same time, I remember him being in the news a lot. (Surprisingly enough, the jackets still command a premium.) Anyway, he is the same guy repsonsible for this tract that was left on my car when I was in San Diego in the late 1980s. It was titled "The Fugitive Pope" and was a three column, four page rant on Pope John Paul II and his control of the US Govt, etc. See a pattern here? If I can find it (I saved it - it made me laugh quite a bit), I'll scan it and post it here.

Over and out.