Helmer's home for one year

So it was about one year ago to this day that I picked up my then eight week old (English) bulldog. I christened him Helmer. (The name is courtesy of my brother in law who, at the age of four, insisted his soon to be born brother (or sister - they didn't know the gender) be named Helmer. My wife told me this story over ten years ago - Helmer's (the dog) name was picked out even before his parents were born.)

He has turned out to be a real kick in the pants. Bulldogs have a reputation among some circles of being vicious dogs. They tend to be lumped in the same cabal as pit bulls and rottweilers. Nothing can be further from the truth. They're too friendly (Helmer always jumps into strangers' cars). They're crappy watchdogs most of the time. (He has barked at our central air conditioning unit but sleeps soundly when a strange person enters the house (e.g. plumber)). The other day, he heard a strange sound (I think it was someone throwing something into the back of his/her truck), he barked like a tough guy and then ran into the house, straight on to his bed.

He is a strange dude. He loves going for rides in the car. He likes to sit in my lap (he weighs about 50 lbs now) and stare out the driver side window. He loves going to the vet. And, contrary to my educated guess, he likes the water. But he cannot swim worth a damn.

My wife and I sometimes affectionately refer to him as TLB (That Little Bastard) and PITA (Pain In The Ass). We keep him confinedwhen we're out of the house as he is not old enough yet to trust by himself. Need proof?

Helmer, here's to you. As much as you can be a pain in the neck, most of the time you are not. (The photos above is the worst he's ever done and nothing of value was ruined.)

I hope you have a long and healthy life.

I just bought a cell phone. Dammit.

I've been avoiding this like the plague forever and a day. I am constantly irritated by people chattering on their cell phones, speaking in loud voices about absolutely nothing. Conversations like "So what are you doing now? Oh really? I am walking to class. What are you going to do tonight? I think I am going to stay home and watch The OC." And then there are the a-holes at the airport who talk really loud about really specific things about their jobs: "Yes, we need to work that client and get a higher royalty payment. Can you check with Amber and see that we have the TPS report first thing Monday morning? Crap, my flight is boarding so I'll call you when I get into Moline."

What a bunch of useless and nonsensical crap. I don't have a problem with people yacking on their phones- I do have a problem with them making it my business. Hell, I consider this to be "smoking into the airwaves."

Leave me out of it.

Tony Alamo and his stand up act

If you do reprint, please include this copyright and registration:
The Tony Alamo Christian Ministries Worldwide is a division of Music Square Church, Inc.

© Copyright 1984 All rights reserved World Pastor Tony Alamo ® Registered 1984

Well, now that I figured out how to do this stuff - note the publish date is Oct 2003 ... but I *just* posted this about two minutes ago on July 25, 2005.

OK - where to start? A few weeks ago I got something on my car windshield that made me laugh a bit. You see, I got one of those 'come to Jesus' tracts. This one was beyond the pale, however. I noted a lot of anti-Catholic and anti-papal references. There were also allusions to the US Govt being closet Zionists, in league with the Vatican. And some statements implying that the US Govt was a direct puppet and fully under the control of the Vatican. (Don't ask whether this makes any sense - I am just reporting the facts, ma'am.)

Anyway, I scan through the four pages of ranting and raving ... and came to the name of Tony Alamo. The name seemed familiar enough. I did a quick search on the web and it all came back to me. This guy has been around since the 1970s. He made a bundle in the late 70s and early 80s selling these VERY gaudy denim jackets that were very popular with B-list celebrities - as a kid in SoCal during the same time, I remember him being in the news a lot. (Surprisingly enough, the jackets still command a premium.) Anyway, he is the same guy repsonsible for this tract that was left on my car when I was in San Diego in the late 1980s. It was titled "The Fugitive Pope" and was a three column, four page rant on Pope John Paul II and his control of the US Govt, etc. See a pattern here? If I can find it (I saved it - it made me laugh quite a bit), I'll scan it and post it here.

Over and out.